I want to talk about this boy. And maybe your boy, too.
I am in the midst of finding a new doctor for Bear. I will never again take him to the one he's had since we've moved here. We all talk about girls' self esteem. But, I think, at times, we forget that boys are just as prone to self doubt as girls.
I am going through that right now. Back to the pediatrician. She messed with my mind. When Bear was a baby, we moved here. We had to leave our beloved pediatrician behind. Try as I might, he just wouldn't move with us. Not knowing anyone, it was luck of the draw.
On our first visit, she mentioned that Bear did not get his height gene from his dad. And she would mention that several times throughout the years. I come from brothers who are well over 6 feet tall. Big D is 6'1". I just assumed Bear would be over six feet. As soon as those words came out of her mouth, I started obsessing. I would compare Bear to other children. I would constantly check his height against that archaic curve chart.
I lost sight of the fact that he was healthy. That he was growing. That he was happy. As soon as I got over myself, I realized that no matter his size, he has a lot going for him. I started noticing that while he's certainly not taller than anyone, he is not, by any means, abnormally short either.
All was right in my world. Then, it happened. We took Bear to the doctor to have his spine checked out for scoliosis. And I'll be danged if the doctor didn't make a comment about his size IN FRONT OF BEAR.
Bear is smart, clever, handsome, charismatic, charming, and everything good. But, sadly, he's also like me. He's a worrier. He takes things to heart. He obsesses. And this doctor sparked something in him that he really hadn't paid attention to before then.
What I used to do, he started doing. The first week of intermediate was rough because he felt so small. He was unable to see that he is right there in the pack. He focused on praying that he'll at least be 5'10". Silly things. Because, again, size does not matter. But, in our society, a tall man gets noticed. Girls, generally speaking, want a man taller than they are.
Then a God thing happened. And I will forever love God for many reasons, but this is right up there. Bear was measured at school. Right now, at age 12, he's three inches shorter at 4'9" than I am. His growth has yet to even begin. And, the kicker. Big D was looking at his passport he had when he was five. It listed his height as 3'8". A couple of days later, Bear found the baseball card of his first year, age 5, in little league. It also listed his height. 3'7". Oh, the joy on his face when he saw that he was only an inch shorter than his daddy at the same age.
I'm not sure how accurate either height was at the time. But, my lips are firmly sealed. And I keep reiterating all Bear's positive attributes. And, how, even if he's only a little bit taller than me, he'll be perfect in God's eyes and some sweet thang's eyes. He'll grow up to be amazing. And I'm going to make sure he believes it in himself.
Who said it's harder to raise girls???