Tuesday

The Trials & Tribulations of the Mom of a 9 Year Old

When Bear was in pre-k, his teacher read him a book that changed his life. It was called "The Kissing Hand" and it was about a raccoon and his mother. The mother would always kiss his little paw so that while they were apart, the son could feel her love. For the next 2 years, Bear & I would do that. Of course, as all kids are wont to do, he grew older and grew out of it.

We had some high drama this past weekend. Bear wrote something in anger that he didn't really realize the full meaning of. We decided to use it as a life lesson and treated it as if he meant the words. While I wasn't yelling or didn't talk in anger, I was tough not coddling. I said some things to get him to think. And think he did. What he wrote is NEVER an option. Never. And seeing how it affected his daddy, of all people, probably reached him more than my words to him.

As he's a week shy of being 10, I'm sure the lesson won't stick 100% for the rest of his life. He'll say/write other things that he doesn't mean/understand. But, I do hope he remembers our conversation. I hope he remembers that words can devastate and hurt. There are words that shouldn't be said lightly. Those words that he wrote shouldn't be used as a guilt-I'mmadatyou-I'llteachyou ploy. And that there is nothing more scary or hurtful to a parent than to see these words(no, it wasn't I hate you). Much more to actually have to live them. I also hope he remembers that he can come to us with anything and know that we'll be there to catch him. Most importantly, I hope he remembers his faith. While I would have rather spent my Saturday night a different way, it did open up lines of communication between both children about a serious matter. I might not have otherwised thought I needed to talk about it.

Does parenting ever get easier? Does parenting a Drama King get any easier? He is such a sweet, charming, good boy. Really and truly he is. But does he ever wear me out some days! He definitely keeps me on my toes and exercises my brain.

After a long evening, it ended with him telling me that he didn't want to lose me (like that would EVER happen). And the kissing hand.

3 comments:

Bubba's Sis said...

That Bear is a lucky boy to have ya'll for parents! I think you handled it just right. Words can be weapons, and you can't take them back. Believe me, I know.

Love you. Love your kids.

I don't think the parenting thing ever gets easier. MAYBE when they move out...

Stacey said...

^^She's the best!

I can't answer the ever getting easier part for you, but in our case, no. In our case, the hurts in our daughters life still roll in. Every stinking day! And with Homecoming around the corner, her brother making plans to go and she without a date, we are struggling to keep her eyes on the future. This is too dang hard, I'd love to rewind and be a momma bear with confidence back when I could have made a difference for her! xoxo

Drama King! Love that!

coastie bro said...

you tease! sounds like yo uare holding back a good story to tell. oh well.

as we all know what happen will not stick for long and he will do something like that again. BUT one day he will remember waht happen and it will sink in and change his outlook. i just hope it doesnt take as long as it did me to realize those things.