The Trials & Tribulations of the Mom of a 13 Year Old

Right now, Lamb is going through something that is affecting me much more than it is her. Big D doesn't think it's a big deal really so I don't want to make it into one. This situation has been going on since school started and 2 things happened again today. Let's just say that I don't like it when Lamb is being used. And I get that feeling from one of her so called friends. I also don't like it when plans are made outside of school in front of her and she's not included. Today made twice that this has happened to her with the same people involved.

When I was growing up, my BFF and I spent all our time together. We had a half-way point between our houses that we'd meet at and either go to her house, my house, or just walking. We walked all over our part of town. We became part of each other's families. We had great fun together, we had awful home lives, we fought, and we loved each other. Correction, we love each other. We are still in contact and even though we aren't as close as we were, we are still family. I know I could call her up if I needed anything and I hope she knows the same. Now, my grandfather had different ideas. He felt like I needed more friends and shouldn't spend all my time with my BFF. What he didn't understand was that I did have friends, school friends. Friends that both of us had in common. But, none that I cared about like I did S. At the time, we didn't need anyone else besides each other. We were happy. I was angry that he thought that and knew that he just didn't get it. And, I didn't listen to him. Of course, neither one of us could have foreseen that I'd move away. I had to make new friends and she had to make the friendships she did have stronger. It was a tough time.

This is what we are kinda going through now with Lamb. She is not an outgoing person; she doesn't always know how to talk to people. And she is perfectly happy. She has her BFF who has been with her since 2nd grade. She also has her school friends who have totally different interests than her so she doesn't care to hang out outside of school. I used to struggle with that since I was afraid in high school her boy friend (notice the spacing) would be her only friend there (my thinking was more for lunch than actual class time). However, after what we have been dealing with, I'd rather her have her couple of close friends who truly love her & may or may not be at the same high school than a lot of friends who use her or don't have her best interests at heart. Some people are more social than others and need/have more friends. Some are content with their small circles of friends. Neither is right or wrong. It's all about that person. Twenty-four or so years later, I still say my grandfather had it all wrong.


coastie bro said...

if you thing he is so wrong then why are you worried about her? she will be fine with teh friends she has.

i have had to go through this myself with a pre teen daughter. finally she realized that her friends are full of it and are not true friends. last year she finally found some that liked her for her and no other reason than that.

so lamb will be fine. if it does not bother her now then it is golden

D... said...

Thank you :) I know she'll be fine with the friends she has. She's not the type to be all about collecting friends and that's how I want it. I just hate that she has to put up with the stuff she's been having to put up with. Like I said, it's more me than her and I'm trying/learning. She's not me. She's more like Big D in that things don't faze her. Outwardly anyway.

I'm glad that Coastie Niece found some new friends that are true friends. I happen to think that says a lot about her character. She likes herself enough to know that she doesn't need to deal with false friends. Good for her!

This parenting thing is never easy.

Bubba's Sis said...

BIG HUGS to Lamb! Know that her BFF loves her SO MUCH and would never be a Mean Girl. There are too many Mean Girls in this world!

Stacey said...

I'm so sorry for Lamb and for you, Mom. Pace your worries, there will be much more ahead. We have been up this road, down this road and again. She is fortunate to have a BFF and I'm guessing BFF is B/S's little girl, who in turn is fortunate! Hugs, D. xo

Jeremy, Shonda, Mitchell & Mason said...

That post made my day and on a day that I really needed it! Grandfather had good intentions. I hope he realizes now how much we mean to each other. I think he does-I've gotten some pretty tight hugs the last few times I've seen him! I worry about Mitchell because he does not have one close friend. I worry that we moved at an age that may have "messed" that up for him. Hopefully, the next few years he'll "click" with someone that we approve. J tells me not to worry because Mitchell is so level headed. I think lamb is the same. I hope they both find someone that the friendship last for a lifetime.

D... said...

Aw, I'm sorry you needed to have your day made but I'm happy that I could do it for you. :)
Granddaddy probably doesn't even remember saying that and yes, those hugs are pretty tight! Both of them adore you!

I agree with J. Mitchell will be fine. Ya'll are so happy and have so many great opportunities where you are. I don't think you messed up anything for him by moving. D told me that he didn't meet his close, hanging out friends until high school. Maybe it's that way for boys?