Hootchie Grandmother

I had a couple of requests to hear about the Hootchie Grandmother. Melissa, I'm pretty sure you know her.

I actually feel sorry the grandchild. You have to wonder. This grandmother wears the shortest shorts she can fit into. Shorter than the shortest Daisy Dukes. She wears low cut tank tops to accentuate her boob job. She has long, damaged, bleached blond hair. And it looks like she has collagen put in her lips. Rather than a natural youthful look, she has the hootchie look.

I heard the rumblings about her before I ever laid eyes on her. Once I saw her for myself, I understood all the rumblings. I would not be surprised if when the grandchild goes into intermediate school, all the boys hang out waiting for a glimpse themselves.

I have never spoken with her. For all I know she could be the sweetest, loving, supportive grandmother or even person in this child's life. Looks can be deceiving. But, I believe there is a time and a place to dress like that. An elementary school to drop off or pick up your grandchild is not the time nor the place.

Anyway, there you have it! Things that amuse us. ;)


Patois said...

Oh, crap, here's hoping she isn't the first GIFL.

Bubba's Sis said...

Hey, you're talking about my AUNT, there!!!!

Ha ha - just kidding!

Stacey said...

Well D, IS there really a time for hoochie-ness? Aside from Halloween, I mean (sorry B/S I know its your aunt and all).

*BTW, you DO know I don't own metal testicals right? I don't. Really. Promise. That's weird. Very weird. But it makes me giggle thinking about what my friends would say!

Thanks for protecting me from your rubber check--I didn't figure you'd go for it. But you got your first NO out of the way.

Misty Dawn said...

You've seen my husband's ex-wife??? Oh... sorry... I temporarily lost control of my fingers and what they typed.

Anonymous said...

Gilf...that one cracked me up!


Anonymous said...

There is one little girl in my son's grade who's mom sometimes dresses like this. She loves to show off the boob job. She's had all kinds of work done. One day, her daughter was upset and when I asked her what was wrong, she whispered that her mom was in the hospital. I hate to admit this, but the first thing I thought of was "Hmm...wonder which body parts are getting a nip or tuck today." Terrible of me, I know.


Bubba's Sis said...

I wonder if Hootchie Grandmother has a tattoo?

Whenever I mention to Hubby that it might be neat to have a little tattoo, he reminds me that someday I'd be a grandmother with a tattoo. I don't want to be a hootchie grandmother.

D... said...

First of all, GILF!!! Love it!!

Second of all, I don't think a small tasteful tattoo would make one a hootchie grandmother. I have plans to get one and I'm certainly no hootchie nor will I be one when I'm a grandmother.

. . . Dallas Meow . . . . >^^< . . . said...

hope she DOESN'Y realize what she looks like so she can snap out of it!